“You can lie down for people to walk on you, and they will still complain that you are not flat enough”
Source: Internet
Archetype 2 is about all the spheres of 1-on-1 relationships, whether it is the relationship with your partner, or the relationships with your siblings, friends, work colleagues, or your bosses. We value each other for who we are, and we are willing to put aside our wants (1) for our relationships to work. We strengthen our relationships with love, trust and cooperation.
In 2 we learn to inter-dependent on our partners. Love flourishes because we accept the other person for who they are. We understand what the other person’s needs and respond to it appropriately. In return, we are also able to meet our needs through the other person. We embrace our differences and support each other physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We walk side by side and overcome our challenges together. By learning 2, you will be able to have harmonious relationships and still be you.
2 is about fairness and equality
In 2, we work towards a win-win outcome for each party. We both have our personalities, our own wants, so how do we balance our 1 with that of the other person, so that both of us can be happy? How much of your 1 can you give up in order to keep the connection with the other person without losing yourself? And is the relationship worth your sacrifice?
In 2 we question the fairness and equality in relationships. Do you consider the other person has also given up a fair share of their 1 to be in relationship with you? If there is an imbalance, is it worth it? Every relationship has a different dynamic, only you can put yours on the scale and decide if you want to stay and for how long.
Because 2 recognizes the needs for fairness and equality in relationships, 2s are usually the ones who fight for equality. Gender equality, career equality, race equality. In 2, a doctor is as important as a nurse, a teacher is as important as a janitor. We all have our roles in society, and they are all equally important. Men would have their own responsibilities and so does women. Just like the Sun and the Moon, the Yin and the Yang, both genders are needed for the world to function well. In 2, no one is superior to the other. Everyone has equal rights to be themselves. Everyone has equal rights to be treated with respect and kindness.
2 is about Boundaries
In 2 we learn to be responsible for the other person. 2 understands that everything “I” do will affect “you” in one way or another. And when two people can connect physically, mentally, emotionally as well as spiritually the relationship is strengthened and long lasting. But in order to make that connection, we have to take the risk of being vulnerable and trust that the other party will be considerate of and honor that vulnerability.
However, in general daily life, our relationships often go wrong when the people who we trust decide to abuse that vulnerability and try to dominate us instead. That is why boundaries are so important for 2. We make clear our expectations to each other, how much we allow the other to violate our rules before we speak up. The sooner we set them up, the better it will be for our relationships.
How do boundaries affect your mental and emotional body?
People working with 2 energies can be either the abused or the abuser. We learn to come to 2’s center by being at both ends of the spectrum of that number. 2 loves to help, 2 loves to cooperate and so often, 2 finds it hard to turn down someone’s requests. It’s 4.45 in the afternoon and suddenly your boss wants you to prepare a report for the meeting tomorrow that will take hours to do. Or you may not be interested in gossiping at all, but you had to stand there for hours for someone’s gossip.
You are afraid that if you say no, you are going to upset the other person. They are going to hate you for turning them down. They are going to leave you. So, you endure all the things you don’t like to keep the relationship going. And over time, you have so many things done for others and none for yourself. What is worse than that? People know you will not turn them down, so they keep asking for your help. They take advantage of you and never seem to appreciate what you have done for them. No matter how much you do, they would always complain that you are not doing enough.
The courage to say no
Until you realize the problem and have the courage to say no. That is when the story unfolds. You have been pleasing others at the cost of your time, your money, your personal development. You wanted to say no but you couldn’t! The frustration keeps building up, and now you cannot handle it anymore. You are angry at people for not understanding that you have your own business to care about as well. And so, you snap! You refused to help or receive help in the most bitter, painful way. And at that point, there is a high chance the relationship is going to be ruined, which might not have been what you initially wanted.
However, in a sense, this swing may mean a positive sign. When you snap back at people, it shows that you are aware of the red flags, and in self-revolutionary, awareness is everything. You are aware that you have been treated like a door mat and now you are willing to change it. That means your 2 energy is in action and it is now one step closer to the center.
I also see this as a chance to filter out the quality relationships in your life. Often when people are not aware that they are going over your boundaries, they will apologize, back themselves down, and treat you with more respect. The ones who have been taken advantage of you of course will not be happy and might leave. In my opinion, if all they wanted was to use you, it is probably better to part your ways. And so, what could have been a disaster turned out to be a chance for you to recognize loyal people in your life!
How can you benefit from setting healthy boundaries?
It is always better to set your boundaries from the start of each relationship. That is why there is the existence of work agreements, financial agreements, marriage agreements, etc. They are there to avoid you having to yell or act violently to show people that you are not backing off, nor do you have to follow all their requests at the cost of our personal interests. And yes, you can allow yourself to make such agreements. Be assertive and don’t be afraid of offering who you truly are and what you genuinely want in a relationship. Only by being yourself that you can find the right ones who are willing to build long-term relationships with you.
For some people, it could take years before they realized they have been in an abusive relationship and deciding to leave is often the most difficult decision they have ever made. Whether it is at work or in your intimate relationship, if you are in such situations, try to recognize the red flags and to be aware of what your 2 is asking of you. Put every gain and loss on the scale and decide for yourself. Should you stand strong on your ground and set a strong boundary for yourself and try to make it work, or should you just pack up and leave? When do you decide to say to yourself “enough is enough”?
2 is about connection and cooperation
If 1 is where we are all by ourselves – we know who we are, what we want, it is our lives so we are going to live our ways – 2 is where we realize we cannot do everything by ourselves. There are always tasks that are better done with two people ranging from carrying heavy weights, assembling a wardrobe to childbirth, or expanding your business. In order to get those jobs done, 2 must learn to connect to the right people for it.
We as individuals can only learn and do so much. There is always knowledge out there that we have no idea about but could be someone’s expertise. Similarly, there will be someone who will need our expertise at some point in their lives. By making connections, we are then able to offer help to each other and make advancement in work or love progress.
In 2, we learn to cooperate with each other in a peaceful, harmonious, and beneficial way. So how can we affect each other in a positive way, how do we avoid over- accommodating, over-cooperating are 2’s questions. In 2, we realize that we depend on each other for our survival. It could be for business survival, marriage survival or species survival. A beautifully centered 2 is where we find inter-dependency and teamwork. It is where we are equally responsible with our partners, and equally utilize our talents, skills, and experience to make our dream works.
What do you think about 2? Does any of these above resonate with you? I would love to hear your sharing in the comment section to see how 2 has worked for you.
Lots of love,
Thi xx
