The Dance of the Pendulum: A Journey of Growth Through Numerology
In numerology, there’s a beautiful concept that has deeply resonated with me: each number exists in three states – underdone, balanced, and overdone. As we work with these energies, we’re said to be swinging our pendulums, constantly seeking that elusive middle ground. And here’s the thing – we must swing our own pendulums. No one else can do it for us.
Growing up in Vietnam during the early days after the food stamp era, I lived in a carefully constructed bubble. My mother, with all her love and protection, created a world where we only needed to focus on our studies. School, home, repeat – a simple rhythm that kept us safe but, I now realize, also kept us hidden.
My first harsh lessons about the outside world came through loss – a stolen bicycle and later, a TV remote. In the context of a country just emerging from poverty, these weren’t mere inconveniences but significant setbacks. The sting of deception and the heat of my parents’ anger left deep marks. But more than the material loss, these experiences planted seeds of anxiety about interacting with strangers.
This anxiety manifested in what I came to see as my greatest flaw – my struggle with communication, which is also the engergy of my life path number 39/12/3. Every conversation with someone new became an exhausting race in my mind between what I wanted to say and what I needed to say. Words would tumble out in a gibberish that left me feeling drained and ashamed. How could something that seemed so effortless for others be such a mountain for me to climb?
My response was to retreat further. “I am seriously flawed, and I should not go out!” became my mantra. For nearly thirty years, I held my number 3 pendulum – the energy of communication and self-expression – firmly in its underdone position, refusing to let it swing.
The universe, however, has its ways of pushing us toward growth. For me, this push came through motherhood. Watching my son struggle with speech until age four, seeing his English skills lag behind at school – it was like watching the consequences of my own silence ripple outward. My limited vocabulary and stunted storytelling abilities weren’t just affecting me anymore.
That’s when I realized – I had to swing that pendulum, and swing it hard. Each stumbled word, each moment of gibberish became not a mark of shame but an opportunity to pause, breathe, and adjust. My son and I began reading together, building our vocabulary and knowledge side by side. My mistakes transformed from sources of embarrassment into stepping stones toward growth.
Those first swings were terrifying. Inside my head, two voices warred constantly: one screaming “Run away! This is too hard!” and another gently insisting, “It’s going to be okay! The first step is always the hardest!” Thanks to my stubborn streak and newfound determination, I chose to listen to the second voice.
To swing our pendulums requires a blend of energies – the courage of number 5 to step beyond our comfort zone, the determination of number 1 to forge ahead despite obstacles. The perfect balance point isn’t reached in one grand gesture but through thousands of small adjustments, each bringing us closer to center. It requires us to set aside our ego, to embrace our imperfections, and to understand that each “failure” is actually a calibration.
Today, while I’m still far from perfect in my communication skills, I celebrate each small improvement. The flow gets smoother, the words come easier, and most importantly, I’m showing my son that growth is possible at any age.
What pendulum are you holding still in your life? What might happen if you gave it permission to swing? Yes, there will be costs – comfort, certainty, the familiar rhythm of limitation. But what might you gain? I invite you to notice these energies in your life, to experiment with gentle swings, and to share your journey. After all, while we must swing our own pendulums, we don’t have to watch them dance alone.
Peace and Light,
Thi
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